BODY

My middle is a little soft

Where you use to be

My hips were once a hammock

For each of you three

Stretch marks strewn across my heart

That has grown three times in size

They drift across my belly

And dance across my thighs

Breasts that nurtured each of you

Now humbled and deflated

My body a mere vessel

In which you were created

The Battle

Your smile; Alluring
Your confidence; Dangerous
Your captivating charm; A powerful drug
This fool fell too hard.
The sweet nothings, the daydreams
The one days and what could have beens
My thoughts were infiltrated by you.

Your ego ; eminent 
You tried to cut me down to size, 
when it was I that should have yielded the axe. 
I cowered. I felt worthless. Was it worth it?
You took my kind heart for granted.
You prey on my type;  The loving, The Empath
I give. You take. And take. And take
Until I am a shell of my former self
I have nothing left to give, but I keep trying.

You force fed me fabrications until
I lost myself in the labyrinth of your lies.
Stifled screams, gritted teeth and silent cries
You raped my soul. You pillaged my mind.
I got so use to being used; coerced
You had a spell on me; cursed

Then, the slightest shift…
Your mask started to slip. Your eyes empty.
That smile, malicious and vile
A barren heart is how you could be so effortlessly callous. 
How you could kiss me with lips that seep lies
The charade continued. A crack in the facade.
A slow leak in the inflated ego; time to let go. 
A chink in the armour allowed me to find my footing. 
To get up. To stand tall. To find my voice. 
To find myself. The ugly truth that is you.

Ready to fight to take back everything I lost.
I will scratch, claw, swing and battle my way back
I will walk away wounded, but wiser nevertheless
I will walk away bruised but not broken
A silent battle cry; No white flag waving 
The ruins of this war will never be spoken

Touch

I’ve never felt your touch,
Yet, you have a hold on me 
You’ve slowly slide into my thoughts 
You’ve penetrated my mind
Go deeper. 
Craving more. 
You’ve ignited a fire, an animal desire. 
Strip me down. 
Seduce my soul. 
Feeling venerable. 
Send chills down my spine
Take me from behind
Up again at a wall 
Give me it all. I 
Moans. Sweat. Wet. 
And you haven’t touched me yet. 

Daughter of the Sun

BLACK
...
Crimson cracks through the horizon
Red rises and permeates the darkness
Orange peaks through the dusk
Amber bids the night adieu 
and dances with the glorious yellow glow
Setting the stage for the sun
A new day has begun
...
White clouds flirt with pink
Making the sky blush
As the sun begins to sink
Lilacs, Mauve and Plums
Cotton candy skies; Periwinkle clouds
Fading much too soon
Darkness possesses the sky
Setting the stage for the moon
...
BLACK
 

TEST OF TIME

*I found a poem I wrote for Mothers Day about 19 years for a class in high school. At this point in my life, I can appreciate the words in this poem more than ever.*

You made it all happen mum

As I opened my eyes for the first time

I realized my undying love for you

I wrapped a tiny hand around your finger

I wouldn’t let go

Time went by

I still love you mum

You look at me with pride in every thing I do

I take your hand as we cross the street

I wouldn’t let go

Time went by

I still love you mum

But please don’t hold my hand

All my friends are watching

I’ll see you when I get home

Time went by

I still love you mum

Now with a family of my own it’s hard to keep in touch

Call me and we will make plans to get together

I promise

Time went by

I still love you mum

As you open your eyes for the last time

I realize my undying love for you

You wrap a tiny hand around mine

I prayed you wouldn’t let go

Chase

Need for speed. Faster.

Leave it all on the asphalt

High speed chase

Chasing the high

Chasing dreams

Chasing the sky

Full tank, Full throttle

Burning rubber

You always leave your mark

…

Need the thrill. The rush.

Love that first kiss

Love that first touch

Chasing Beautiful

Chasing Crazy

Chasing Wild Lust

When playing with fire,

Risking the burn its a must.

You always leave your mark

Return to Me

Wish for you. Try for you. 
Grow You. Have you.
Heart explodes 
Love you. Nurture you.
Protect you. Shelter you.
Encourage you. Admire you.
Care for you. Celebrate you.  
Teach you. Learn from you.
Smile at you. Laugh with you.
Mad at you. Cry with you.
Bothered by you. Tolerate you.  
Head explodes 
Misunderstood by you.
Watching you. Missing you.
Losing you. Grasping for you.
Emancipate you. 
Wish for you. Pray for you.
Proud of you. Welcome you.
Return to me. Complete me.
Heart explodes
Love me. Nurture me.
Smile with me. Laugh with me.
Protect me. Care for me. 
Understand me. Stay with me.
Never forget me.
You are a part of me .



Break

A surface that is creased, textured, rough and weathered…

Yet you’ll never find anything so beautiful, so needed, so giving.

Always giving.

Being admired from afar, taken for granted, or perhaps being hid behind or climbed on.

Providing shelter, warmth, food, air..life.

Always giving.

Time passes.

Hope. Growth. Changes.

New beginnings.

New Life.

Fresh. Fast. Blink.

Time passes. Dark days come.

Growing colder. Growing older.

Creaking. Bending.

Time Passes. Everything starts to fall away;

Standing there.

Vulnerable. Barren. Naked.

Nothing left to give.

The creaks turn into cracks

And the bends begin to break.

When you are always giving.

There is no time to take.

Runaway Soul

The urge for fun, The urge to run
The Wanderlust, overwhelming
A gypsy soul pays a toll
For opening up and living

Anchors and weights. She deliberates
The pressure, overwhelming
A gypsy heart pays a toll
For opening up and loving

Torn between here and now
The what if’s and could have beens
A gypsy mouth pays a toll
For opening up and feeling

It will all turn to dust, as it must
If you leave it all behind
A gypsy touch pays a toll
For a future it won’t find

Time slips through your fingers
Once you’ve let it go
A gypsy mind pays a toll
For a future it doesn’t know